When I was a kid, I kind of loathed my looks after being called ugly all the time. I always thought my sister was prettier. I was more gangly and awkward, but “cute”. I never liked to take pictures. I’ve been really camera shy for a very long time.
Growing up as a teen I started to change. People started to find me more attractive, but it didn’t really seem like it to me, because my milk shake wasn’t bringing any boys to the yard. But my friend Janey was a different story. Janey didn’t come close to Halle Berry. Only Melanie and I were unconsciously deemed the least ugly in our ugly group. We’d be questioning each other, what the fuck is that Janey bitch doing, what are we not doing? What are we doing wrong?
Janey’s boobs. Need I say more?
I’m 20 years old now, you can say, I’ve aged gracefully. I’m pretty-ish.
Today My girlfriend needed me to be her photographer, so that she can apply to her modelling job. They needed her to take photos in various poses wearing different lingerie. She had fun. Alot of fun. And I loved being a photographer. It’s one of my fondest dreams.
I loved watching her, too. Face it, people, My girlfriend is sooo hot. Jealous? We’ve been going steady for a while. She is seeexay. I was so turned on…but another part of me, a darker part of me was jealous, because I was thinking how I couldn’t measure up; another part was defeated because I started to think that we’re not right together, and I felt like she might be too sexy to be dating someone like me. I mean, everybody wants her, she’s like the jock every cheerleader on the team, every geek, every loser would want a slice of. Yet she settled for normal, average cute-ish girl. Everybody, men and women, is jealous of average me.. To myself, I may be nothing special, but to her, I’m something. She tells me all the time.
Looking at our pictures I noticed something. I noticed how she looked. She is Gorgeous, But I noticed how I look like a little girl, even when I try to look older. Even when I dress up. I don’t really know what I’m doing wrong. The only time, I think was one picture we did together and I even looked half attractive. I shouldn’t do it, but I compare myself to my girlfriend all the time. It doesn’t kill the relationship(I hope), really, because I don’t let it. It just bothers me sometimes. I wanted to get this one off my back by writing to you. My body looks great, but my face…I didn’t like the way I look.
I then started to look up levels of attractiveness, And I went through all the trouble to read these articles. Which, now thinking about it, I conclude it was stupid. I found this blog which happened to be on WordPress, which then reminded me that i was yet due to write the summer blog debut post. Haha. ADHD rocks. I came up with an awesome blog title. I’m high as fuck on weed.
GET IT WHILE IT’S HOT!
-Katie
It is what it is...Isn't it? 